Happy 48th Birthday to Me (belated)!
I chose to look at myself, really look at myself in the mirror November 4, as I wished myself a happy 48th birthday. What did I see? I saw life! What does that mean? That means I saw a life well lived. And by that, I don't mean every trip around the sun for 48 years has been a picnic; far from it.
When I think of a life well lived, I mean I've been here for it. All of it, the good, the bad, the scary, the traumatic and the absolutely exhilarating times. I’ve made the choice to truly feel all of it. Enduring the lows gives you profound appreciation for the highs.
I have scratched off bucket list vacations. I’ve experienced grief, tremendous sadness and extreme anger. All the things. In a society now filled with Botox and fillers (not judging), I am proud of every fine line, smile lines and tired eyes that were staring back at me. I earned all of it by getting through life and not around it. I made it through 8 years of engineering studies, followed by 20 plus years in a very male dominated industry. There have been many challenges, but I've shown up and never given up. So, while I would love to wave a magic wand over my whole body head to toe and go back about 10 years, I am simultaneously very proud of every sign of aging that was staring back at me. It has all been earned. At that moment, I could not help but think of so many people that haven't been given the gift of turning 48. I thought of two high school girlfriends, one who didn’t make it to graduation and another who didn’t make it past her freshman year of college. So, for now, I’m okay seeing crow’s feet when I laugh. I hope that I can always keep this perspective. Perspective, so beautifully summarized in this Spanish poem by the late Ramon de Campoamor:
En este mundo traidor nada es verdad ni mentiraTodo es según el color del cristal con que se mira
Less poetic English translation:
In this world of betrayals, nothing is true or false Everything depends upon the color of the glass through which it is viewed
