Is My Period Finally Gone?
No clue. This whole perimenopause thing has been quite dramatic. I should have expected nothing less considering the history I’ve had with my uterus; detailed well in My Journey with Fibroids. So for any readers (especially women) who aren’t sure what I mean by perimenopause, you’re not alone. I had never even heard the term used before 2019, and as of writing this blog; I’m 48 years old! Not once did any of my doctors; including gynecologists, mention the word. Not once did any doctor talk to me about possible symptoms to expect during this transition. Moreover, my own mother never seemed to show any sort of struggle or discomfort as she approached menopause. I remember asking her a couple of times throughout the years if she remembered having any sort of symptom related to menopause. She just shook her head and answered that there might have been a hot flash once or twice, but she wasn’t really sure if that’s what it was or not. I also haven’t been surrounded by very many women the past couple of decades given my career choice. Suffice it to say, I feel like I pretty much went into this stage of my life totally blind. Had I known what I know now ahead of time, I think this transition could have been way smoother. That being said, I also truly believe that I’m exactly where I am meant to be at this time in my life.
Here’s the deal, I used to think that this transitionary period (no pun intended) of a woman’s life is actually menopause. It turns out, menopause is not a range of dates but defined by when a woman finally goes 12 straight months with no period. Perimenopause typically starts in a woman’s 40’s and lasts up until she reaches menopause. That’s a lot of time for a woman who’s having a rough go of it! Well, I’m still in the perimenopause stage. Despite the very rough start, I’ve gotten to a point where I’m not just surviving everyday; but thriving in ways I never had through my 20’s or 30’s. The short list of symptoms I wrote down when I first met the physician who got me started with BHRT (see my Finding Sleep Through Finding Peace blog) included:
Anxiety
Insomnia
Chronic nausea
Panic attacks
Migraines
Vision changes
Weight gain
Harsh mood swings
Mental and physical fatigue
Missed periods
Lack of motivation to do things I typically loved.
She read the patient form I had just filled out, looked up at me with a compassionate smile and said, “So, all of it”. I just looked at her with that deer in headlights expression on my face.
Four months prior to that visit, I had started working with my therapist. That’s pretty much the only reason I knew that anxiety was the cause for what had been the most debilitating of the symptoms; insomnia, panic attacks and nausea. The panic attacks had already started to subside significantly, and nausea was pretty much in the rearview mirror, but I wanted this doctor to know everything that I had been going through since January 2019. To my relief, she didn’t look at me like I was nuts or that this was all in my head. She also wasn’t surprised that I was pretty clueless as to just how natural all of this is for about 50% of the female population. I was surprised, sad and a bit pissed off to hear that a lot of women out there make it to menopause with no significant discomfort what-so-ever. WTF? Why was I going through such a miserable time then? I told her I didn’t know ANY women who had struggled like this; including my own mother. She explained when it comes to perimenopause and post menopause, it’s more generational than it is hereditary. In other words, this is one area where your mother’s experience isn’t going to be the best predictor of what you’ll be up against. Shocking news to me. She explained the significance of environmental factors on hormone balance, and unfortunately, as time goes on the environment is getting more and more toxic. This includes our food. The good news is, once you learn all this stuff, you can figure out your game-plan.
Nothing in life is one size fits all. I didn’t start my blog as a way to preach to readers they must do as I do to feel better. The point is to get the conversation going. How can you prepare for something that you don’t know exists? That being said, I did start my blog to be an open book about topics I think are more common than we realize but rarely touched upon. I could go on forever on the topic of perimenopause; and others. For now, I’ll give you the top 2 weapons I have used to turn my life around; therapy (psychotherapy) and bioidentical hormone therapy.
Therapy and the topic of mental health in general seems to be having a moment in recent years. It turns out, I’ve become quite fascinated with learning about the mind and how to train it to work for me; not against me:
Your mind is your instrument, learn to be its master and not it’s slave. - Remez Sasson
With regards to how it’s helped me during this period in my life (again, no pun intended), wow, it’s been revolutionary. I started therapy hoping it could fix me, but I quickly learned, I was never broken. There is so much power in learning about yourself and how our minds are designed to work. I found myself sitting across from someone who truly sees me and being there has become one of my sanctuaries. I have gained the capacity to see life more clearly, which is humbling because all these years I thought I was! Actually, I have gained the capacity for all things. What I mean by this, is that therapy helps you to adapt to life and to be okay with impermanence. The past several years, my body and mind have been through so much change that the lesson of impermanence has been fundamental in moving me from surviving to thriving. I am confident to actually feel all the things life throws at me without seeking any sort of numbing agent. I’ve learned how to be okay and take care of myself through any sort of discomfort. The combination of therapy and meditation have done wonders for regulating my mood. This can be a challenge for anybody, and if you’re in perimenopause; even more so. Look, life’s struggles aren’t going to miraculously go away for anybody, therapy or no therapy. But for me, it’s made life easier to handle, and I know I will be able to cope no matter what changes are in store for my future.
As for hormone therapy, that’s been a nice cherry on top. Like talk therapy, it too, has made the past 18 months easier. I feel like it sort of compliments all the work I’ve done through talk therapy to make this stage of life a smoother transition. Despite now being at a point where I feel confident that I’m going to be okay no matter what life brings in the future, it certainly helps to have a lot less of the physical symptoms I was struggling with. I suffer from a lot less headaches and can’t remember the last time I had a migraine. My energy level has improved, and I’ve regained my motivation for life. And those harsh mood swings, well, I can’t remember the last time I had to cope with that either.
Information is key. If you’re going through any sort of transition in your life, be a sponge and don’t ever be ashamed to ask for help. There is so much support available to anyone who is willing to look for it and to make a change.
