Sleepless Night Survival Kit
I’m tired but wide awake. This feeling is not new but my reaction is. After about an hour long internal conversation with self, I launched my response. This time there is no fear, or so it seems. I know why my body is up. It’s fighting, and I’m always all in for a good fight!
My body has mounted a response to receiving a vaccine yesterday (nope, not for COVID-19 😉). There is a chill in my bones that is giving me the shivers. I have sharp aches, and a pins and needles sensation running down my legs to my feet. This is some of what my husband who has MS can experience at any given moment. The irony. My reaction is the intended or expected response. There is no fear. A touch of anxiety? Perhaps. It’s a bit difficult to fully categorize each symptom with it’s cause.
What I do know is that when I finally willed myself to toss off the sheets that were failing to tame the chill, I felt triumphant. In that moment, I felt in control. I had a plan for how we (mind, body and soul) were going to ride this out. Control is anxiety’s BFF. I took control. In this way, there was no fear because I knew the outcome.
My plan was simple:
Layer up to comfort my shaky bones.
Pop 2 Tylenol
Whip up a nighttime caffeine-free latte loaded with ingredients that promote relaxation and sleep
Gather my tools for restless nights (journal, Kindle, ear buds and sleep stories) and have them all loaded up and ready to go.
Fear can not exist where there is gratefulness #cmctherapy. Unlike every other night (since 2019) that I’ve been awake at 2 AM, I feel grateful. Grateful to have this body that has launched an appropriate response to a foreign substance. I am grateful that right now, the chills have weakened. I am grateful to bear witness to the healing and growth along this journey. I am grateful to feel ok in this moment with being awake at 2 AM.
Gratefulness is the vaccine for fear🙏🏽.
